Recap by Bone`rT

In a recent article I followed the history of Mantaur, and made reference to the 1997 Royal Rumble. My fans who read the article (contrary to popular belief they were NOT my Mom and 5 year old Heimy Weisenheimer from down the street!) have been asking me exactly what happened at the 1997 Royal Rumble.

Thats right folks this year we would have a Royal Rumble for the ages! Because once again the WWE turned it up for us and set a NEW record! In years previous we had some Royal Jerks, maybe some Royal Shakings, but this PPV was significant as all of those 150 in attendance set a NEW Indoor Earthquake Record! It's true, WWF Seismographers recorded it themselves.

What was even more historical about this event though? No it wasn't Mantaur defeating Andre the Giant that night it was infact another SuperStar who would steal the show.

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Thats right! The legend! The Myth! The Recent 18 Month Sobriety Award Winner - Bone` Love!

And who was his competitor? I already told you, WWF turned it UP for this event!

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It was ALF!

This match had all the hyping you needed, ALF even had an interview from the set of his hit TV show for chrissakes!

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The match got off with some shenanigans

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GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RASCAL! I'M GONNA TANGLE YOU UP YA LIL VARMINT!

And thats when we got the damn
TO BE CONTINUED
;haha if you write this in HTML noone can see it, sorry ass critters!

Now lets stop right there! Now this was rediculous! For those who haven't been watching wrestling long this was one of Russo's attempts to "revolutionize" professional wrestling. My ass! Basically this saved the run-in til tomorrow night. If you ever wanted to know why Bischoff failed in WCW you should have taken some hints!

But we did get atleast one very thought provoking moment.

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Now if you're like me you're wondering HOW'D THEY GET HIS FUCKING FEET UP THERE!

Anyway to rap this up I must address some issues of 'legitimacy'

1) This is back when WRESTLING WAS REAL! Before that lawsuit where the kid crotch chopped himself too many times and his croth fell off. He should have known THEY MAY PRACTICE THOSE CROTCH CHOPS, BUT THE RISKS ARE REAL!

2) Do you see strings on ALF anywhere? Case closed.