Humor by Da-Met

WARNING: In this column, one of our main points will be looking at the issue of same-sex relationships. This article will be done in an entertaining and humorous fashion, but may be considered by some to be provocative. We would encourage parents who read WrestlingDB with their teens and children to be mindful that this issue will be appearing.


This Thursday night on Smackdown, Billy and Chuck will be married in a gay wedding (or, as the WWE calls it, a “commitment ceremony”). The storyline of Billy and Chuck’s storied romance and their eventual path to matrimonial bliss this week was unexpected for sure. However, should we have seen it coming? Is it possible that this storyline had been in the works for many years? The question I am asking is... in an era where long term planning has gone out the window, where main events are concocted on the day of the show... where backstage politics routinely change finishes at the last moment... was this a brilliant example of long-term booking? Is this the final chapter in an almost decade long odyssey of Shakespearean proportions? It just might be...

Our story begins on the date of November 11, 1963. That was the day Billy Gunn (real name Monty Sopp) was brought into this world. While his early non-wrestling years were nothing noteworthy... one fact is of keen interest. That is the fact that he attended college at Sam Houston State (in Texas) on a bull-riding scholarship. A bull is known as a rough and tumble animal... and Billy Gunn went to college on a scholarship that essentially had him mount this strong and manly animal and tame his wild ways. What? I’m just saying is...

Billy arrived in the WWF in 1993 as one half of The Smoking Gunns, along with his brother Bart. This is where the story of Billy Gunn gets interesting. The two of them dressed up as cowboys as they wrestled their way to three WWF tag team championships. They wore cowboy boots, cowboy hats, and wrestled shirtless in this ensemble. While on the surface, this whole look was pure manliness... those with an eye for detail would see something deeper. For a picture of these two studs in their cowboy days, go here:
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/sg10.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/sg8.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/sg3.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
Boy, shirtless Billy sure liked to get close to his shirtless brother, didn’t he? What? I’m just saying is all...

While Billy’s WWF career certainly began in the manliest of ways (a cowboy), his character arc that would eventually lead him to where he is today, began when the Smoking Gunns broke up. At this point, he entered his next gimmick... that of Rockabilly. Rockabilly sang... Rockabilly danced... Rockabilly had a fat Elvis wannabe as a manager... Rockabilly still wore a cowboy hat at times but his look had become a little less manly... and a little more fruity. To see Rockabilly try these links:
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/rb4.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/rb3.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/Rockabilly .htm [billygunn.co.uk]


However, here is where the story takes a turn for the worse. In 1997, Billy Gunn ditched the Rockabilly gimmick and joined with a man named Jesse James to form the New Age Outlaws. Two points... first of all, many people who are classified as “new age” in today’s society are in fact gay. Secondly, Jesse James was known as the Road DOGG (a misspelling of dog), and we all know that Hot DOGs are shaped like penises. Coincidence? I think not.
As a member of the new age outlaws, Billy Gunn was known as “Bad Ass Billy Gunn.” So far so good, right? I mean, he is a bad ass, certainly that helps him seem more manly, right? Well not when you have pink tights:
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/new8.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
Eventually, he became known simply as “Mr. Ass.” His music began with the lyrical phrase: “I’m an ass-man!” Observe:
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/33.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/billy34.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/ass.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
Frightening, isn’t it? It’s like I don’t even have to type the words, the pictures make it all painfully clear.

The next step in the evolution of Billy Gunn gave birth to “The One” Billy Gunn. This, on the surface, seemed like an attempt to reverse the homosexual undertones of previous incarnations of his character... but was it really? Previously, the word ASS would appear on the back of his tights, signifying his ass. Now he was known as The One. When there’s no more room on the back/ass of the tights, where do you go? To the front of the tights, the crotch/penis area of course. How many penises does a man have? One. The One.
It became painfully obvious to anybody with an IQ of 3 that The One was meant to be a phallic symbol... further signifying Billy Gunn’s descent into homosexuality. Observe, and notice his fruity hairstyle (first link) and the phallic-like 1 on his shirt (second link).
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/bg.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/raw25-06- 01.htm [billygunn.co.uk]

And that my friends, brings us to where we are now... Billy and Chuck. Billy and Chuck began as two ambiguously gay tag team partners (marking yet another step in this almost 9 year long story arc).
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/smack0126 02.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
As time went on, they added a manager Rico to the mix:
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/smack070 602b.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/28.htm [billygunn.co.uk]
However, this façade of ambiguousness was shattered last week on Smackdown when Chuck got down on one knee and proposed to Billy. Billy lovingly accepted Chuck’s marriage proposal. So now, the two young lovers are to be wed this Thursday.
http://www.billygunn.co.uk/Images/smack0906 02.htm [billygunn.co.uk]

Watching the evolution of Billy Gunn, from manly cowboy to homosexual soon-to-be-wed, shows an utterly brilliant character arc that was undoubtedly planned from day one. It shows a foresight that is unheard of in this business. Yes, Billy Gunn was indeed gay from the very beginning of his WWF(E) career. Step by step we witnessed his evolution (some would say fall) into homosexuality. Remember that when you watch this story play out on Smackdown... remember that you are watching the culmination of almost 9 years worth of character development. Remember the extraordinary life of Billy Gunn.