History of Duke Sep 14 - 12:57 pm EDT
Humor by Jest
Duke Droese was a simple man, a "sanitation engineer" by birth right
and a World Wrestling Federation superstar. Although he never held
a WWF title, he always gave his all to entertain the fans, and nobody
walked away disappointed from a Droese match. This is his true story.
Duke Manchester Von Braum Winchell Droese was born on October 13th,
1970. His father, Edgar Droese, grandfather -- Marshall Droese --
and great grandfather -- Bertrand Herman S. Droese -- had all been
esteemed sanitation engineers in their day. His older brothers; William
and Peter; were much too sickly and weak to carry on the legacy of
sanitation engineering, so all hopes rested squarely upon Duke's
wide shoulders.
Even at the tender age of nine years, his talents for waste disposal
were manifest. For fun he would often fill large bags with cement
and hoist them around as if they were bags of cotton. By the age of
twelve, he could pick up two thirty gallon trash bags filled with
bricks and sprint for fifty yards without breaking a sweat. He was
surely a prodigy, the greatest natural born garbage man the world
had ever known.
Duke's parents could not have been more proud of their magnificant,
prodigious child. His father, Edgar, also encouraged him in the
art of Greco-Roman wrestling. Unfortunately wrestling would
literally sweep Duke away from the drab world of trash, pouring
him like a sack of litter into the seedy business of professional
wrestling. At sixteen years of age, he was unstoppable, a six
foot seven two-hundred and seventy-five pound raging tiger. Nobody
could defeat him and nobody could dare hold him back. He was ready for
the big leagues, the pros.
The history of Droese's early professional wrestling career is murky.
It is known that he spent some time honing his skills in dojos in Japan
and in underground pit fighting tournaments. In honor of his family's
trade, he would wrestle as a garbage man, taking on the nickname
"the Dumpster" and would use the deadly "Trash Compactor" as his finisher,
a deadly powerslam type maneuver that left opponents in the depths
of agony for years. The name "Droese" was often enough to strike
fear into an opponent and the Dumpster would usually win by
count out as scheduled opponents refused to face him.
World Wrestling Federation owner Vince McMahion, seeing much
potential in this unbeatable, terrifying young man, signed him
immediately. Droese swept through the lower card competition
while politics prevented him from ever reaching the big leagues. The
combined efforts of such stars as Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Shawn
Michaels kept him down, preventing him from being a threat to their
hold on the World Wrestling Federation. Thus he stagnated in
humiliating feuds with wrestling plumbers and other such notables
as Jerry "the King" Lawler. Finally due to budget cuts he was fired
and last appeared in the "Gimmick Battle Royal" at Wrestlemania
17. Have we seen the last of the Dumpster? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Only time will tell.
