Review by S_D

ANGER MANAGEMENT - WWE Survivor Series 2002

LIVE from New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden

Just as a side note, since I watch PPV for wrestling and not skit\interview crap, I only recap the matches on PPVs. Unless it's absolutely crucial to the show (such as the Steiner stuff), you won't read it here. I only give match analysis and commentary on PPV recaps. And it should be noted that the Goldust\Hurricane vs. Regal\Storm match which was announced for the PPV on SmackDown! was moved to Heat, probably since they realized it would be nothing but a crowd killers, and judging from the reaction to the match, they were right.

Match #1
Elimination Table Match
Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, & Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning & Rico
Elimination #1 takes place when Jamal and Rosey slingshot Spike through a table. Elimination #2 takes place when Jeff does his Royal Rumble 2000 MSG dive spot onto Rosey. Elimination #3 takes place when Jamal splashes Jeff off the top rope to the outside. Elimination #4 takes place when Bubba powerbombs Jamal off the top rope after Jamal was attempting a hurricanrana. The fifth and final elimination occurs when SmackDown!'s D-Von, dressed in his old Dudley garb, runs in for Bubba, and Rico feels the return of the 3D for the win at 14:19. Bubba and D-Von stare each other down and then embrace amidst the rabid New Yorkers and their "ECW" chants. Rico's got new ring attire which makes him oddly look like The Disco Inferno. And it should be noted that they have decided to use the old school entrance that they used to use for PPVs in MSG, which gets a thumbs up from me. Less is more. This is as close as it's going to get as far as traditional Survivor Series matches go, because there is no 4-on-4 matches signed on this card. Crowd was red hot for this one, and, while I'm not a fan of The Warning based on their work so far on RAW, I must say that they had the intensity cranked up for this one. As a matter of fact, everyone did. Jeff Hardy even seemed to have a little more spring in his step (and his leaps). Match was fun and fast-paced, and it also included Rico giving the loudest called spot ever as he was teetering on the top rope waiting for Jeff to shake the ropes, ended up just flailing on them like an idiot for about 20 seconds until he finally yelled out, "Come on, Jeff, godammit!" I wonder who got yelled at for that one. And I also agree with bringing back D-Von Dudley to RAW to reunite the Dudley Boys for many reasons. Ever since the brand extension split up what has to be arguably the greatest tag team ever in wrestling history, their singles careers didn't have the same fate. Bubba just floundered around in the Hardcore divison, a brief feud with Brock Lesnar, and when it seemed he finally started to be picking up some steam, he got killed along with his heat during his little mini-feud with Triple H. Shocking, isn't it. WWE with D-Von on the other hand had the opprotunity to really take his "Reverend D-Von" character to extreme levels because when Reverend D-Von was created, the Catholic Church was in the midst of a sex crime scandal that I believe the WWE really could have capitalized on. But sadly, attention on D-Von was put to the wayside, as they introduced Deacon Batista as his new partner with no reason behind it, split them up with no reason behind it, and then had him form a tag team with Ron Simmons with no reason behind it. In fact, the last time anyone ever saw Simmons before that team started, him and D-Von were arguing about masturbation, which really has to make one wonder. And they didn't explain why D-Von was back with RAW, but I guess they can go to the Big Show trade if they need an excuse. Oh well, the match and the booking get a thumbs up from me.
Winners: Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike Dudley, & Jeff Hardy

Match #2
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Jamie Noble (c) vs. Billy Kidman
The end of Noble's 5-month Cruiserweight title reign, which Cole smartly points out that it's the longest reign currently in the WWE right now which is sure to not please HHH, comes when a double-team attempt from Noble and Nidia backfires and Kidman is able to hit the Shooting Star Press for the win and the Cruiserweight Title at 7:28. Although the match had barely any backbone story behind it and the crowd acted accordingly, I always enjoy a good cruiserweight match. And this, my friends, was. This was a great match from start to finish that just plainly should have been given more time. Kidman once again has new music which sounds like hip-hop, which just sounds awful. You can file this one side by side with Trish Stratus' new garbage for music in the "Crap That Will Kill The Crowd" folder. Seriously, every revamp WWE has tried to do with Kidman's look since they brought him in as part of the InVasion has bombed. They tried new ring attire, dud. He's had almost new theme music per week, dud. Just give him back his old WCW stock music and throw the jean shorts and the wifebeater back on him and let Kidman be Kidman. Austin's gone, and Vince doesn't give a flying crap about Justin Credible, so who cares if he wears jean shorts? Not me. The highlight of the match was Kidman taking one of the sickest DDT's I've ever seen. Hopefully, these two will be allowed to expand their feud deeper and have a longer rematch at Armageddon. Let's just hope WWE doesn't forget about Kidman being CW Champ as they conveniently did with Noble during weekly intervals.
Winner and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Billy Kidman

Match #3
World Women's Championship
Hardcore Rules
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Victoria
A blow to the face from the fire extinguisher and a snap suplex spells the end for Trish as Victoria gets the cover and a new Women's Champion is crowned at 7:01. As I said in my preview, women's hardcore matches almost never fail to entertain and this one did not fail either. Lots of very innovative spots with the broomstick to start off the match and stiff shots to each other made the match enjoyable. So stiff in fact that Victoria had a busted nose at one point in the match. It's not safe to be a girl wrestling at Survivor Series. Remember 2 years ago during Lita vs. Ivory and an errant Ivory punch completely slashed Lita's face open? I wonder if Ivory teaches that one on Tough Enough. After a couple minutes, though, things started getting sloppy as Trish messed up a bulldog. Also, Victoria pulled out a mirror from underneath the ring which I'm 99.5% positive was supposed to play a part in the finish of the match, however, when Victoria pulled it out, Trish stepped on it and broke it, thus making it unusable. Although Victoria's acting ability ranks right down there with Stephanie McMahon, her ring work is definitely top notch in my eyes. All that time in OVW did her a lot of good and she is very polished inside the ring. A good looking female who's not the stereotypical blonde and can wrestle up a storm? I think I've found new jack off material. But seriously, good fun little brawl with these two.
Winner and NEW World Women's Champion: Victoria

Match #4
WWE Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. The Big Show
Another title reign comes to an end here as Paul Heyman turns on Lesnar after Lesnar hit a picture-perfect F5 and distracts Lesnar long enough for Big Show to waffle Lesnar with the chair, chokeslam him on it, and get the pin to become a 2 Time WWE Champion at 4:18. This is where everybody shuts up, because I've got something to say. Ever since February 1999 when this man was brought in and signed to an absolutely ludicrous contract that not even Eric Bischoff would have conjured up, he has been a complete and utter failure. Every attempt to get this big piece of crap over has resulted in a quick abortion. During Big Show's first title reign between November 1999-January 2000, Vince saw thinks sinking. It was so bad that Vince, according to Mick Foley's second book, scrapped his planned HHH\Big Show Royal Rumble 2000 WWE Title match to go on and throw the belt back on HHH before Big Show stunk up another buyrate. He then recieved a big time leg injury in April 2000, which the enormous load of fat he carries didn't aid in protecting. He was then brought back in July 2000 and only lasted for about a week when officials noticed he was even more out of shape and lethargic than he was when he left. He was sent to OVW to get his weight down and to get his head straight. He may have gotten his head straight, but he sure didn't get his weight down. As opposed to J.R.'s weekly Big Show fat loss updates in the Ross Report, where Ross swore he had gotten down to 420 pounds, he returned at the 2001 Royal Rumble. Fatter. And more out of shape than ever. Ever since then, he has largely been forgotten as someone important to care about since that return, because he's been absolute garbage from day 1. Also, for the longest time, it had never been clear whether he was a face or a heel due to completely stupid writers (I'm looking at you Stephanie McMahon) so the fans just simply quit caring. So, in March of 2002, WWE proposes a brand extension. The purpose, as Linda McMahon has stated many times, is to give WWE twice the chance to build up new stars. She notes Brock Lesnar as one of those (and so far, the only) new stars. And she was right. Until now. The last vision we have of Hulk Hogan on WWE television is him getting absolutely slaughtered by Brock and Brock wiping Hogan's blood all over his body. WWE fed The Rock to him clean for the at-the-time Undisputed Championship. WWE even fed their main man of 12 years, even though he seemed like he did it kicking and screaming, The Undertaker to him in a brutal Hell in a Cell match which saw UT probably deliever the greatest blade job of all time. Ok, so we've fed all these people to Lesnar, who's next on the feed list? Someone I guess proposed they get Lesnar over even more by feeding him someone who's bigger than him. So, they bring The Big Show over from RAW to SmackDown! to be Lesnar's next feed. Until something happened that WWE didn't count on. At a house show the weekend before the PPV, Lesnar recieved a broken rib in a match with The Big Show. And yes, it was Big Show's total fault, which is exactly why Lesnar's chair attack was so stiff on him the SmackDown! before the Series. So, instead of cooler heads prevailing, WWE absolutely goes bonkers and throws out any morcel of good judgment they had left and put the belt on The Big Show, who was only meant as of 10 days before the PPV to just be another feed to Lesnar. Yes, the same man who was just seen on RAW in the past two months losing to Jeff Hardy and getting his butt kicked by Tommy Dreamer is the new WWE Champion. This is absolutely one of the worst decisions WWE has ever made and there are a lot of reasons why. And if you don't think I'm going to talk about them, you haven't read my recaps very closely. Absolutely nobody cares about The Big Show at all. If you watch the match, the groan from the crowd is absolutely audible when the hand went down for three. We have six guys on SmackDown! right now, as I affectionately refer to them as "The Super 6", that are absolutely tearing up the show and are allowing WWE to produce some of the best TV wrestling matches since the days of ECW week-in and week-out. And instead of relying on these guys to bail them out, whom have never failed WWE once, they go to a 500 pound slob who can't even walk to the ring without getting blown up, injures wrestlers, sucks in the ring, and is totally uninteresting. The bottom line here: When your solution to a WWE Title dilemna is putting the belt on Paul Wight, there are some major fucking problems in your company and you better fix them. Immediately.
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: The Big Show

Match #5
WWE Tag Team Championship
Triple Threat Elimination Match
Edge & Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Chris Benoit & Kurt Angle vs. The Guerreros
Well, thank God this was put on to wash out the filthy raw sewage taste out of my mouth after the last match. Elimination #1 comes when after a series of reversals, Edge hits the spear on Benoit for the 1-2-3. The 4th title change occurs of the night at 19:25 when Guerrero applies the Lasso From El Paso on Rey, and Rey has no choice but to tap out. My only beef with the match is that it didn't get enough time given the buildup for the match. Seeing has how No Mercy's Tournament Final match went 20 minutes and how there is another team involved this month, this match should have at least gone 30 minutes. However, if my only beef with a match is that it was too short, that means it had to have been a pretty good match, which it was. Cole played up the psychology aspect of the match which was just fantastic, being when The Guerreros just waited on the apron for the other two teams to beat each other down before jumping in the action and ended up winning. Cole and Tazz have really become the A-broadcast team recently, and that's amazing considering how much I used to hate Cole. But like I said, he's good as long as he isn't marking out like a 14 year old, and it looks like that part of him is gone. J.R. and Kingfish better step it up if they don't want to be referred to as the B-Team. Match took a scary turn at the beginning when Angle catapulted Rey to the top rope and Rey accidentally overshot it and almost ended up breaking his neck on the fall. Afterwords, it seems as if the Rico-Calling-Spots-Too-Loud curse hit Angle as Angle could audibly be heard asking Rey if he was OK and then calling a clothesline spot immediately after. And the crowd was audibly (I love that word) upset at the elimination of Benoit and Angle. They didn't seem to be too primed to cheer for Edge either. Also, it's great to see Chavo Guerrero finally getting his due, winning a title on his first PPV, in Madison Square Garden no less. Match was fantastic and should have had at least 10 more minutes. Even though the matches involving the Super 6 have been gems, it's time to cool them off with each other for a bit to get over some other people who need the rub. And no, I'm not talking about The Big Show.
Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: The Guerreros

We take a break from wrestling, because it's obvious everyone paid $34.95 (except me of course) to watch people talk, as Christopher Nowinski comes down to the ring to remind New Yorkers that they are stupid. It's usual cheap heat, but Nowinski just seems to have a knack for doing it in a way that geniunely pisses you off instead of saying, "Oh, he's just dissing the hometown. No big deal." More of this until Windows Media Player suddenly pops up on my screen and Matt Hardy -Version 1- comes down to dispute Nowinski's claim. Here are your Mattifacts: #1) Matt keeps the room a toasty 75 degrees. #2) Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk. Matt says they aren't stupid, they are just losers. They argue over this matter until they come to a compromise. Matt claims that New Yorkers are "loopid". Genius. Screw The Big Slob, give this heel the WWE Title. The name-calling continues until the sounds of ambulance sirens are heard and the WWE debut of "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner is on. Steiner comes in and annihilates Nowinski and Matt, thus making undecipherable if he's with RAW or SmackDown!. Steiner then proceeds to show why he's Scott Steiner as he is audibly (hah, there it is again) heard screaming, "Give me a fucking mic." I love this guy already. He just runs through his catchphrase briefly, while the on-fire New Yorkers chant his name and then bark like his brother. Whatever happened to the last guy who debuted in Madison Square Garden...I guess Scott Steiner will be come Michael Cole's best friend in 14 months then.

Match #6
World Heavyweight Championship
Elimination Chamber Match
Triple H (c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Shawn Michaels
Well, these are the rules of the Chamber:
-- 4 Superstars Will Be Confined To The Internal Chambers
-- 2 Superstars Will Start In The Ring
-- Every 5 Minutes A New Superstar Will Start The Match
-- Elimination Occurs After Pinfall Or Submission
-- The Last Remaining Superstar Will Be The World Heavyweight Champion
You have to love the WCW way of clustering up rules for the gimmick matches. First entrant: Chris Jericho. Second entrant: Booker T. Third entrant: Kane. Fourth entrant: Shawn Michaels. Fifth entrant: Rob Van Dam. Sixth entrant: Triple H. HHH and RVD start it off. In comes Jericho. In comes Booker. First elimination occurs when Booker pins RVD after RVD jumped off an internal chamber to hit the ***** on HHH. In comes Kane. Second Elimination comes when Jericho nails Booker with the Lionsault. In comes Michaels. Third elimination is Kane after being hit with a superkick, a pedigree, and a lionsault. Jericho gets the pin. Fourth elimination is Jericho after getting superkicked by HBK while having the Walls of Jericho on HHH. Fifth and final elimination comes as HBK breaks free of a 2nd consecutive pedigree attempt by HHH and creams him with the superkick to become the World Heavyweight Champion at 39:21. That certainly was an adventure. But was it a good one? One thing is for sure, the Chamber is a much more visually appealing structure than the Hell in a Cell. You can definitely tell which one was built in 1997 and which one was built in 2002. However, there was a lot of really cheesy stuff surrounding it to kind of make it laughable. Is it really necessary to promote "bulletproof glass" when you have spots planned that involve people going through it? I think we all remember the last time we saw bulletproof glass promoted: WCW 2000 and the Russo-mobile. Let the eerie WWE\WCW 2000 parallels continue. And what's with the stupid music to precursor someone's entry into the chamber? The lighting\spotlight was a great idea, but take the stupid music out of the formula. As to the match itself, even thought I dog the guy because he's a political piece of trash, I am still a fair man and must give HHH his due for selling and bumping nicely for RVD in the beginning of the match. If HHH could do that for other people more often and not be so paranoid of "protecting his spot", people wouldn't hate the guy so much and could probably excuse the fact that his in-ring work sucks now because he's protecting his leg. And it must be noted that afterwords, WWE.Com announced that HHH had a severe throat injury after RVD hit him with the ***** off the chamber. HHH had this whole thing mapped out where he would drop the belt to HBK and win it back clean at Armageddon, but it looks like that probably won't happen now. Poor HHH, let's all cry for him. Also, forget anything HHH says on the company website, RVD better be watching his back so that the glass ceiling doesn't come crashing down on him, a'la Jericho. Sadly, after RVD was eliminated, there really was no more done with the Chamber. RVD hit some very cool spots and was the only one who really cared about being innovative with it. There's only so many times you can watch someone get clotheslined over the top rope on it or get backdropped on it without getting bored. After HHH got hurt, his part of the match notably decreased as he was too busy trying to suck back some wind for the finishing sequence with Michaels. Two spots involved Kane propelling Jericho and HBK slingshoting HHH through the "bulletproof" glass. Honestly, when was the last time we had to worry about guns at wrestling events? Anyways, HBK ends up getting the strap and I have a few things to say about that. For one, Shawn Michaels, unelss it's strictly for the use to be a transitional champion to get a new guy over, should not be anywhere near the World Title. HBK should be used as more of a special attraction like Summerslam more than he should being in the top of the mix. His body physically cannot handle the demands needed to be an effective World Champion, unless he's immediately going to drop the strap to someone who's name isn't Triple H. More gripes I have with this match? It did absolutely nothing to elevate RVD and Booker T. and get them over as viable threats to the World Champion, booking-wise. They were eliminated before everyone got into the match for goodness sake. RVD probably got some honorable mention for all the cool moves he did with the chamber, but Booker T. got zilch in the way of elevation from being in this match. And when Kane is getting more of a notice in a match than someone like Booker, something's wrong and someone didn't do their job. After the whole Katie Vick crap, it's almost impossible to get Kane over now so it really did nothing for him either. The only "new" guy who really got a rub in this match was Jericho, since he hung with HHH and HBK at the end and looked good doing it. But back to my earlier question, was this a good adventure? Let's put it this way: Good work, considering all the factors involved. Stupid booking.
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Shawn Michaels

ALL IN ALL the work on the PPV was pretty solid, all the way from the Tables Match to the Chamber Match, with the obvious exception of the Big Show\Lesnar garbage. Although I must say, some of the booking was really way out there. None of the champions going into the PPV left with their gold. And, come on, Big Show and Shawn Michaels are World Champions? When did we go back in time 6 years? But, I'm a wrestling fan more than I am a writing fan, so I'll give this show a thumbs up. As I said in my RAW recap from last week, the Chamber match would either be good or a massive trainwreck. Thankfully, it was good, especially just to look at. If they'd get rid of some of the cheesy elements I mentioned earlier, the Chamber could grow into a nice feature for WWE. But they face one problem: Now, the Hell in a Cell looks like crap next to that thing.

S_D

©2002, WrestlingDB.