Opinion by S_D

With a broken ankle injury to Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Donovan McNabb a couple months ago and the bad luck of Chicago Bears' Brian Ulracher, it was all blamed on “The Chunky Curse.” For those of you who don’t know what the curse I speak of is, let me fill you win. Campbell’s Chunky Soup franchise has been made famous by its advertising campaign of having NFL stars pose with their “mothers” (which are really just paid actresses, by the way). A good number of NFL players who have ever starred in these commercials shortly thereafter hit an unbelievable strain of bad luck. Here is the dubious list and the unfortunate fate experienced after:

-- Reggie White, chronic back problems which eventually led to premature retirement (remember him? He "wrestled" Steve McMichael at the WCW 1997 Slamboree pay-per-view)

-- Terrell Davis, a slew of assorted injuries which led to premature retirement

-- Neil Smith, chronic knee injuries leading to premature retirement

-- Kurt Warner, after winning a Super Bowl, he did the commercial and then immediately got a concussion, loses a Super Bowl, starts next season 0-5, and breaks a finger

-- Jerome Bettis, hasn't played a complete 16 game season since the commercial and experts say he is not the player he once was

-- Michael Strahan, seemingly lost all his talent after the commercial and is not regarded as a threat anymore

-- Donovan McNabb, suffers a broken ankle immediately after commercial hits airwaves

-- Brian Ulracher, team finishes 4-12 after going 13-3 in the previous season before the commercial

Reading this article intrigued me greatly, and I thought to myself, "There has to be something like this in wrestling." Sure enough, I found it. After a couple minutes of deep thought and confirmation, I discovered an actual curse that exists in the wrestling world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present:

The WWE Worked Wedding Curse!

Yes, at least one person involved in all these worked weddings you see on WWE television has faced something unbelievably bad in both storylines and in the real world shortly thereafter. After doing the proper research, I discovered that indeed every wedding has produced one person that ended up with horrible fate afterwords. Now, let's get to THIS list:

-- October 5, 1985, Uncle Elmer gets married in the very first WWE televised wedding. Elmer (real name Stan Frazier) sadly passed away 5 years later due to complications from diabetes at age 52.

-- August 26, 1991, Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. Despite being married in real life since 1985, they did a worked wedding at WWE's SummerSlam 1991 PPV. Less than a year after the "wedding," they were embroiled in a very bitter divorce and didn't have any contact with each other for over four years.

-- November 8, 1999, Test and Stephanie McMahon. In the month prior to the "wedding," Test was being groomed for a main event run and was often seen fighting WWE Champion Triple H in the main event of RAW. Immediately after the ceremony, Test suffered a broken nose and had it re-broken in his first match back. He was off television completely for two full months and completely forgotten by the time he returned. Triple H, who was indirectly involved with the wedding, had his left quad muscle completely ripped from the bone and spent 8 months on the shelf. It is widely regarded that HHH is a shell of his former self thanks to the injury.

-- February 11, 2002, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. Immediately after the defining face turn for HHH, his title reign was prematurely killed for the sake of the Hulk Hogan nostalgia push, he received a nasty elbow injury that put him on the shelf for two months, had his throat severely injured in which he could have possibly died, and partially tore his right quadriceps muscle. (Seeing his fate after the past two weddings, how many of you wish he'd do another one?)

-- September 12, 2002, Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo. Shortly after the "commencement ceremony," Billy suffered a severe shoulder injury on a house show and it is widely speculated that the injury will force Billy into retirement. Chuck completely faded into mediocrity and no one cares about him anymore.

-- January 2, 2003, Al Wilson and Dawn Marie. Al's television character actually seemingly dies on camera, which is a first for WWE. Expect the real-life wedding backlash to occur any time now.

So now, if the WWE ever asks you to do one of these worked weddings, now you know what to say, kids!

Unless you're Triple H, then my suggestion is that you should go for it.

S_D

©2003, WrestlingDB.

Last Edited: Monday, January 13th, 2003 - 06:10 pm EST