Recap by Fro

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!

- Our hosts are Jim Cornette and the "Booming Bass" of Dean Hill. Tonight we'll see M-N-M v.s. the Heartbreakers for the #1 Contendership for the Southern Tag Titles, and talk to Danny Inferno and the Thrillseekers.

Beat the Champ TV Title Match
Brent Albright (champion) v.s. Lance "I got my name back since Lance Storm retired" Cade

Cade does the tired Texas horns sign that every Stan Hansen wannabe does. Crowd chants "Big Bird" at Cade. They lockup. Cade controls and pushes Albright into the corner. Ref breaks it up. They lock up again and Cade secures a headlock, Albright reverses into an armbar, but Cade reverses again into a DDT which Albright blocks and they end the tieup. Crowd chants at Cade again. Cade gets a headlock into an armbar, Albright reveres and hits Cade with a forearm. Cade claims there was a hair pull. Cade kicks Albright and clubberin commences him with some generic Stan Hansen/Barry Windham wannabe offense. Why can't a guy from Texas learn some different moves?

Albright finally kicks Cade and goes for an armbreaker, but Cade takes a powder. Dean Hill calls Cade a "crafty veteran"... JR will be calling him a "young rookie" for the next ten years. Cade gets back in the ring and gets clotheslined... Albright goes to lock in the crowbar but Cade escapes and bails from the ring. Albright follows him out of the ring but gets hit with the LARIATO~! outside. Ok, that was kinda nice. Albright gets hotshotted on the steel guardrail outside the ring (The guardrail is way superior to those stupid barricades they have now). Back in the ring, Cade covers for a 2 count. Neckbreaker gets to as we go to the...

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Nick Dinsmore signs his arm off for YOU... for FREE... if you come to OVW in Elizabethtown! Who cares what the card is, see EUGENE LIVE and have him sign a bunch of crap!

Cornette has finally mixed it up and quit using the lava lamp backgrounds for the OVW ad shills. Epilepsy cares in Louisville just went down by 20%

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Albright hits an elbow on Cade. Cade hits a russian legsweep for 2, then hits a belly-to-back suplex. Crowd distracts Cade with the "Big Bird" chants. Cade goes for a vertical suplex but Albright reverses and goes for a rollup.. Cade holds onto the ropes, then ducks an Albright clothesline and hits a DDT. Cade goes up top for the Randy Savage elbowdrop but it misses! I make a note to myself that I smell a ten-minute draw coming on.

They do the double ko spot as the ref counts to ten. Albright gets up and hits an armbreaker on Cade. Cade backs off and uses the ref as a shield, then clocks Albright with an "illegal closed fist" for 2. They trade punches and Albright hits an Anglesque belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Hill announces two minutes left Hill really makes Lillian Garcia look bad as he does timekeeping, ring announcing, interviewing and color commentary all at once, yet Lillian can't even do simple ring announcing. Albright hits a belly to back for 2. Kick, punch, elbow strick and another 2 count. Kneelift by Cade, Cade whips him around, Albright ducks a forearm but Cade hits him with SWEET CHIN MUSZACK.

One minute left. Cade gets a 2 count. Cade sets up in the corner for another Stevie Kick but this time, Albright catches his foot and reverses into a rollup. They trade more punches. Albright blocks a blow and locks in the crowbar on Cade! Crowd chants "break his arm"! There are only 15 seconds left as Hill counts down the time. The bell rings and Cade immediately starts tapping out afterwards. Crowd chants for "five more minuntes". Cornette hits the ring and Cade smartly goes crazy, stealing the $1000 check from the ref and generally being all intense and pushing Cornette around the ring. This shuts the crowd up. Cade says Albright was doing an awful lot of punching for supposedly being such a great wrestler. Albright says it's my money. Cornette says they're going to hold up the check for next week, and next week it's going to be a no time limit match. Fun Sunday Night Heat-level match and good postmatch segment.

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Danny Infero and Trudi are out. Inferno says he's like the Davis Arena fans as he's a hard workin man to had to work for everyone he's done and Aaron "The Idol" Stevens is a rich kid who never had to work. This is like a subpar version of a Dusty Rhodes/Ric Flair promo. Says Stevens is no real man. Next week, it's a Jersey Shore Streetfight with Inferno and Stevens. Didn't we just have one of these a few weeks ago that ended in a no-contest? Anyway, *THIS* Jersey Shore Streetfight is under Texas Death Match rules.

Trudi finally talks... and she has a STRONG southern accent. I guess she's from the "south side" of the Jersey Shore? Anyway, this pleases the Davis Arena crowd who chants for her. Inferno says Stevens' ass belongs to me. Medicore promo

Update on the S. Tag Team Champs... NEXT

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Elijah Burke and Alexis Laree are reduced to begging for money for the WHAS Crusade for Children (a local charity telethon) in the crowd.

Let US take you back to last week when M-N-M were cutting a promo:

(cue nifty new dissolve... did someone buy some new video editing software?)

Matthews says a bunch of funny stuff making fun of Cornette but I'm too lazy to write it down. He's basically saying they deserve another tag title shot and the Heartbreakers are no obstacle. Melina calls Mo Greene a "midget" which is funny because she's not big herself.

The Heartbreakers come out and a bunch of guys come out parodying M-N-M's entrance with a pink carpet, guys with confetti, guys with signs, a couple clowns with balloon animals, a bellydancer, a juggler, and finally the Heartbreakers with a GUY IN A FREAKING BANANA SUIT!! The Heartbreakers knock the guy down and start grinding on both ends of the banana as I start rolling on the floor. Hey Michaels, your banana jokes just got pwned.

Anyway, the Heartbreakers are way over as faces which surprises me. They cut a Too Much esque promo with some crazy Brian Christopher laughing. Mo Greene says after the match, he'll take Melina as a hoe down on 7th street.

What the hell happened... it's a SUDDEN dissolve to The Thrillseekers v.s. The Tolands (aka the Blond Bombers) from last week. Thrillseekers hit some nifty doubleteams. and hit a double superkick on one of the Tolands. M-N-M run in to break up the match and the Heartbreakers make the save. Mo Greene and Melina were rolling all over the place here. Thrillseekers offer their hands to the Heartbreakers and after some hesistation, they shake their hands and then step over with the Thrillseeker's arms between their legs and do some gay antics.

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We are back to "live action" now. Thrillseekers are out for a promo. This is probably going to be painful. Indyriffic promo about how they don't care who wins M-N-M/Heartbreakers and that the Tolands shouldn't get a title shot.. Jeter sounds like Heyman's been working with him this week on promos, but it doesn't help much. Mercifully, the Tolands are out to save the segment. Tank says they're not getting any respect and they deserve another title shot. Matt takes the stick and cracks a midget joke at the Tolands. The Thrillseekers say they're going to have to beat another team to get a shot and says they're out of the tag title picture. Tolands say they're going to make their presence felt in the division. I smell a run-in in the next match.

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#1 Contender's Match:
M-N-M (w/ Melina) v.s. The Heartbreakers (w/ Mo Greene)

Is Vince Russo booking... two matches in a hour? Melina looks like Carmen Electra this week. She's probably got about 7-inch heels on or something ridiclous. Heartbreakers come out to a big pop and they show some little kids in the front row dressed up like them. M-N-M break up the gay pattiecake dancing which Cornette acts like is the most heinous act ever (when a few weeks ago he was acting like the Heartbreakers' dancing was the worst). Double ass grab on M-N-M clears the ring to a big pop. Yes, folks, the Heartbreakers are the first face gay team in the history of wrestling. Match finally starts. There is a nice exchange of moves and one of the Heartbreakers gets a crossbody for 2 on Nitro. Matthews comes in and gets a double gay headbutt and a double gay wishbone doubleteam. Crowd pops big for this. Antonio gets a big splash for 2. Romeo is in and gets a headlock. He keeps kick Nitro's hand off the ring ropes whenever Matthews goes to tag him in a cool spot. Nitro gets frustated and comes in, and Romeo backdrops him while he's still headlocking Nitro. Romeo rolls Matthews over while the does a headscissors on Nitro! Both Heartbreakers roll up M-N-M for two. The ring is cleared and M-N-M try to leave the arena but the Heartbreakers stop them and carry them back to the ring. Romeo and Matthews finally back in the ring. Nitro trips Romeo. Nitro takes in and M-N-M double stomp them in the corner.

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We're back and Romeo is getting stomped in the corner. Lots of cheating ensues, Melina choking him on the ropes, etc for a couple minutes. Crowd is way into it. I get lazy because I see the run-in coming. Romeo finally makes the hot tag and Antonio comes in a house of fire and hits some monkeyflips and a couple 80s moves. Ref gets bumped. The Heartbreakers hit their "Ereticle Dysfunction" finisher on Matthews It just turns into a melee with Mo Greene and Melina rolling around. The Tolands run out and start beating up the Heartbreakers. The Thrillseekers are out. A bunch of refs and wrestlers come out from the back but nobody can break it up. We're out of time... see you next week!

Another solid show, although there were a couple holes in the booking that usually aren't present. The promo work was very disappointing this week from the Thrillseekers and Danny Inferno. I suspect there will be a four corners elimination match in a couple weeks which should be fantastic and get about 30 minutes.